Losing it
A sixteen year old boy
who you have worked with for 4 years, now has a terminal disease and has been
told he has less than a year to live. He confides in you that he is a virgin…
and asks you to help him find a prostitute so he can lose his virginity before
he dies.
What would you do?
In New South Wales, it is entirely legal for a 16 year old to pay for sex, sex workers must be over the age of 18, but this rule does not apply to clients. I would have any objections on principle, however it would really depend on the specific circumstances of the situation as to whether or not I provided the requested assistance. If I was to provide assistance, I would seek to ensure that the worker / services were appropriate to the situation. (Info from: http://www.swop.org.au/the-law/sex-work-in-nsw)
ReplyDeleteThis is quite a large ethical dilemma i guess for me it is how i would or could come decision to support him in this. i guess i would want to start from the start and unpack this issue firstly i would look at who i am accountable to my client and look at how this decision could impact on him and his relationships with family or me as a worker. Then i would look at the decisions i could make and reflect on how they sit with my own emotional, ethical and moral compass and depending on the context i work in, i may seek some professional supervision on this issue and discuss it with my co-workers in case meetings and discuss the issues with this dilemma. I would need to make that what i am doing culturally appropriate and if i am not overstepping my boundaries as a worker. I would also asses in my head who is involved in this situation look at the relational aspect of clients, ask my self questions who needs to no about this decision, is he competent make this decision. i would then want to gather some information about relevant topics potential legal issues e.g duty of care any policy issues relating to my agency. then once i have made a decision based on everything above i would want to reflect on the situation and see if i can take anything from this experience to improve my own work as youth worker. (sorry about the dyslexia and if people cant understand what i am getting at)
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Paying for sex, this is an interesting one isn't it? I do realise this social issue has been around forever. In Sweden, sex workers are seen as victims of abuse who have been pushed into the industry with out other options to make a living and the men are seen as perpetrators of abuse and arrested. Since the government implemented this change of law which states that the men are the criminals, They have seen a reduction of prostitution by 80 precent. Although the laws are different here and it is not illegal for a 16 year old to pay for sex and I understand that it is this young boys dyeing wish, I suppose this request is in conflict with my belief that sex workers are victims of a male dominated system where it is ok to treat woman as objects and just do what feels good. I would therefore say no on moral grounds and inform my boss of this particular moral dilemma. Although it is legal, I do not believe it is in this young man's best interest to have meaningless sex with a woman he has never met before.
ReplyDeleteThe client is legally entitled to seek the services of a sex worker. If we are to view a client holistically, their sexuality and sexual expression is something to be taken into consideration.
ReplyDeleteI would advise my client that there are certain processes that will need to be followed if he sees a sex worker (such as the need to follow direction from the sex worker, undergo a visual sexual health screening, shower. use of safe sex materials and so on). I would discuss how he intends to pay and the legalities on where he is legally able to and not able to acquire the services of sex worker (as he must be over 18 years to be inside a parlour - although he is legally entitled to have a worker at his home).
Just like with other topics, such as abortion, we must place our own values aside. The act of a sixteen year old paying for sex, terminally ill or otherwise, is completely legal. How is referring a client to a sex worker any different from referring them to agencies for food, shelter, clothing and so on?
Is a 16 year old boy wanting to participate in a completely legal activity between two consenting adults really such a big deal? Would we seek supervision, think about the impact on his relationships with his family or personal impacts on us as a worker if he revealed he would like to know where to get condoms so he and his girlfriend could have sex?
If the client is 100% happy for you to refer them to a sex worker and they have nothing that stops them from being able to give full consent, then let him know if options and what papers/online ads he can look in. Make sure he considers his own safety with inviting someone into his home.
If there is any physical disability as a result of his terminal illness (tubes to be worked around and so on), then an organisation like Touching Base may be able to link him up with a sex worker who is trained to work with anyone with a disability.
I believe that the rights of this young person should be respected. Touching Base may be an organisation that you could speak with around this issue.
ReplyDeleteI'd allow it and support it. Young people make lots of decisions that aren't what we'd choose for them, but which aren't harmful. This is just one of them. I would carefully consider any possible harmful effects- messages sent to other clients, for example, about the value of women (assuming he wanted a female prostitute) and virginity/ sex, of what makes life worth living and at what price. Could lead to some valuable and interesting conversations.
ReplyDeleteI understand everything you are talking about and yes what a dilemma, What is the right thing to do, legally, ethically and what would the family think. Its a hard one. There is so much to consider, maybe talking with your co workers would help lots to make a good decision for yourself and your client.
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